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More Painal advice from the Internet

I was surfing around for something to write about and I came across this gem from a dude preparing fuck his bitch up the ass. 

I’ve been with this girl for a couple of months now and want to perform anal sex on her. What do you think is the best way to get her to try? Should I talk about it first or "accidentally" stick it in?

Now I am not sure why anyone would turn to the internet to ask about fucking a bitch in the ass.  Its relatively simple,  bend her over and stick it in her ass.  You are done!  Its not exactly rocket science here.  Besides the internet is full of bitches and we all know what kind of advice they give. 

The most effective way to get a bitch to “try” anal is to bend her ass over and give her the painful anal sex she deserves.  There is no “talking” who the hell wants to talk to a bitch in the first place.  That is almost as painful as the painal you are going to give her. 

But I have hope for the lad.  Despite the howl of rage coming from the bitches that he “accidently” fuck her ass.  This indeed is an effective way to introduce your bitch to painal for the meeker of us males.  It does of course result in the same thing.  A screaming crying bitch pleading with you to get your dick out of her ass. 

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If you Don’t Want Painal Then Wear a Longer Skirt

Its obvious from all the screaming and crying that a bitch does that they do not want to be fucked in the ass.  After all painal is indeed an unpleasant experience! (as it should be).  You would think bitches would take steps to protect their ass from a painful fucking.  But being bitches they of course mysteriously love to show it off! 

Its a simple thing they teach you in childhood.  If you don’t want people to steal your shit don’t show it off.  Hence the reason why we keep money in banks rather than showing your billroll to every person who crosses your path.  I know bitches are little more than children but surely they can understand this simple thing.  If you don’t want to get painful anal sex then perhaps you should cover your posterior up!

Of course our bitches don’t get it hence and give us quite easy access to their ass in their little short skirts.  Unfortunately for them it quite often leads to a good hard dose of Painal. 

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According to a new study by the CDC 36 percent of all bitches under the age of 45 have gotten their ass fucked at least once in their lives while 44% of men gave it to them.  Of course this leaves our feminist bitches distressed since by no means should a bitch take it in the ass in their eyes since its “demeaning”.  Which as they fail to grasp is the whole fucking point!

But despite our bitch blathering it seems there is a significant increase in ass fucked bitches which of course delights your dear Fish since that is a whole lot of Painal!   In fact if the bitches are telling the truth (which is unlikely they are bitches) a number of them have been painalized by multiple men!

Of course there is a sad side to all this which is 64% of the bitches that have never had a dick forced in their ass.  That means that 64% of bitches in the united states are only 2/3’s useful when it comes to getting fucked (they can still cook and clean however).  There is indeed some work to be done!

Fortunately much to our fat feminist’s dismay there is a growing trend among younger bitches to give into demands for Painful Anal Sex driven primarily from sites just like this one!  Guys see some skank getting ass fucked all over the internet and say to themselves “Hey I would like to do that to my bitch!” 

As time goes on the number of bitches that have experienced a painful dick in their ass will grow tremendously which of course makes your humble Fish quite happy

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New Painful Anal Site

So I spent the holidays drinking and fucking unwilling bitches up the ass.  But I also took time to search the internet far and wide to bring you the best Painful Anal Sex.  So I came across this site which looks relatively new which features bitches getting surprise anal sex. 

Now from the look on this bitches face it seems that shoving two fingers up her ass to get her ready for some hot hard Painal wasn’t exactly expected nor appreciated.  Who cares?  She’s a bitch and if there is anything we know about our bitches is that need to fucked up the ass no matter what their thoughts about the subject. 

That being said, I probably wouldn’t have even given the bitch the courtesy of finger fucking her ass first to make it easier to shove my dick in.  Where is the fun in that?  A dick in your ass is supposed to hurt. 

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Painal Rape

I love how our fat feminists try to redefine anal rape.  Some dumb study was issued and they found yet another pointless statistic that 1 in 5 bitches have been “assaulted”  either vaginally or anally.  They will of course use this study to decry the “Rape Society” we live in and complain incessantly that men want to fuck them in the ass.

However the problem with this is that these fat cunts keep trying to redefine what anal rape really is.  For example one of the questions was “Has someone ever talked you into having Anal Sex that you didn’t want to have?”  Now lets examine this logic.  Getting fucked in the ass hurts.  Hence bitches tend to avoid what hurts.  However eliminating their ass as a place to fuck displeases the dude.  Hence he calmly talks the bitch into it and giving her the Painful Anal Sex that the bitch needs. 

Of course you gotta talk a bitch into it.  You think they are gonna do it willingly?  This is what we call the art of  persuasion.  But since our bitches think they can’t make a decision themselves somehow its our fault!

Now for those dealing with bitches who simply will not take it up the ass there is always Painal rape like this stupid bitch is getting

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Rip Her Up

More Painful Anal Advice from the Painal Mailbag

Q: Dear Fish,  I think my girlfriend could use a good dose of Painal (She is a real bitch).  She has never let me do her in the ass.  How should I approach her about trying anal

Well I am indeed glad you have come to the realization that your bitch is indeed a bitch and could benefit from a good dose of Painful Anal Sex.  That being said the question arises why you haven’t fucked her in the ass to keep her from becoming a bitch!  But you might as not cry over spilled milk I suppose.  You have a problem and I Fish,  am here to help you.

Now you ask how to “approach” your bitch.  Typically one walks up behind a cunt and shoves your dick in her ass.  But I assume you mean to convince her try anal.  Now I hate to tell you this son,  but a bitch that won’t let you fuck her in the ass will typically not be willing to try it.  So why convince her?  She is a bitch after all!  All one should have to say is “Bend over bitch I am going to fuck you in the ass” and the bitch should obey!  If she doesn’t well …..  The next time you are fucking her like the dog she is.  Simply hold on tight and give her the Painal that she deserves.

Q: Dear Fish, As a woman I am offended at your suggestion we are stupid and lazy.  And no one is going to give me Painal

First of all,  you used the W word.  The proper way to refer to yourself is a bitch.  Please remember that or I will come over and give you the Painful Anal Sex that you un-doubtfully need

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Bow Tied Bitch Gets Boned in the Butt

You know humans are generally stupid.  Of course our bitches are stupider then the rest of us but we’ll talk about that later.  Lets say your IQ was 101 (which is pretty dumb).  That means that more than half of the worlds populous is more stupid than you are.  Its a bit scary when you think about it. 

Thus it is no wonder that the dumber people in the world will go though complicated machinations to accomplish even the simplest task.  I remember a few years back when the science establishment was finally starting to “study” the benefits of Pot.  Now this shit has been around since the dawn of man and has been in medicinal use until some idiot decided it was “evil”.  But I digress.  So I am watching this scientist explain how they synthesized the active ingredient but it doesn’t work very well due to how we absorb THC so they decided to make it a suppository.  So let me get this straight,  I can either smoke an pleasurable plant for relief or I can shove something up my ass.  Yes this all sense now. 

Much like this I was reading about bitch circumcision.  Now I am not one to sympathize with a bitch but cutting off their naughty bits so they don’t feel pleasure during sex seems a bit much.  Why not instead leave them intact and simply fuck them up the ass!

It seems to accomplish the same thing.  Most bitches don’t like to get ass fucked and in addition not only is it not pleasurable it is also rather painful which kinda makes it superior to maiming a bitch.  If by some oddity the bitch starts enjoy it you simply need to pound her ass harder to make it more painful.  And finally keeping hold of a screaming crying bitch with a dick up her ass is considerably easier holding down a bitch to cut off her clit. 

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Painful Anal in the Bathtub

If there were ever a perfect place to fuck a bitch up the ass it would be the bathtub.  You have all the elements at your disposal to take a bitches anal virginity without violating one’s dedication to giving bitches Painal. 

For starters,  you are in the bathtub so even faced with the risk of having some of the inevitable unpleasantness that comes with Painful Anal Sex you have plenty of soap and water to combat this threat. 

Second since we are dealing with soap and water a properly lathered up asshole should provide all the lubrication one needs for penetration of  even the tightest virgin asshole.  

But there are some drawbacks.  For instance due to the makeup of the typical bedroom it is quite the sound amplifier.  Thus your bitches screams of pain when you fuck them hard in their ass will be even more painful to ones sensitive ears.  The other thing that many don’t think about is that if their butthole is nice and slippery that means the rest of them are nice and slippery making holding on to a squirming crying bitch while you buttfuck them.  I would imagine Its like fucking a greased pig but I will defer to any readers in Kentucky to tell us what that feels like.

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Happiness is a Teen with a Sore Asshole

You learn something new every day friends.  Today I learned about a new phenomena that I am delighted to tell you about.  Since after all it has to do with teens and painful anal sex.  The term Saddlebacking. Now Christians have quite a few funny ideas.  For example they insist the world is 6000+ years old and one day some dude in the sky is going to rapture their dumb asses up to the sky while smiting the rest of us.  That is if the bitch still a virgin. 

In order to facilitate this there are a growing number of dumb bitches out there engaging in Saddlebacking which for those of the uninitiated means Christian teen girls giving up their anal cherry to remain a virgin.  Who said bitches weren’t dumb! 

Now usually I would now go on a tirade about the stupidity of bitches but in this case I think I will refrain.  After all when stupidity leads to more painal,  well that is of course a good thing!

Of this continues I might have to start going to church and find me a Christian virgin since you know she has been well ass fucked.  I could give her rough painful sex and a good dose of painal right on the wedding night.  Outstanding!

Now of course being Christians one could assume that there is lots of invoking the name of God when they feel a fiery holy cock shoved up their ass by their Christian boyfriends who are marveling how fucking stupid they really are.  But hey the bitches can’t sit but at least they will go to heaven. 

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Serious Bitch gets a Serious Cock Up her Ass

Found this little gem floating around Yahoo answers the other day.

hi frens.i am a 21 yrs old girl having a bf.we r getting married in a few months,we hv sex many times,but wht i hate is anal sex which my bf always insists for.Now wht to do,he has been trying for it from 6 months but i am not allowing it.He says it is exciting but i think i am not ready for this as i am very scared of this as i hv heard of many things abt it.Now wht to do..pls help!

Now it was not the bitch’s question that amused me nor might I add the lack of spelling, grammar or any semblance of proper communication (she is after all a bitch) but the reaction to it.  Bitches almost universally asked why she would marry a guy who wanted her to do something she didn’t want to do.  Men on the other hand suggested if the bitch wanted to get married then she should bend over and take a good dose of Painful Anal Sex if she wants to marry this dude.

Well my advice is to the guy, we all know the advice I would give this bitch.  You have two choices.  Run like hell or marry the bitch.  Now personally I would never advocate marriage for a man.  Its simply a raw deal these days.  But should he insist on continuing on this foolish endeavor wait until the wedding night and force fuck her in the ass.  That way she can’t charge you with anal rape since after all this is what a bitch is supposed to be doing. 

Now of course you can have the best of both worlds since presumably you are marrying a really stupid bitch who asks advice from strangers on Yahoo answers about getting fucked in the ass.  First you tell the bitch you are not going to marry her unless you get to give her some Painal first.  Chances are so close to the wedding she will cave in and offer her ass for you to pound.  So take her anal cherry,  leave the bitch crying and dump her!

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